Now he wants a tool

Who can blame him? I think men are just drawn to tools. It speaks to their inner cave dude. Now my husband, with the uncalloused hands, wants a multi tool. You know what they are. It's a fancier version of the swiss army knife that we used to carry on a keychain prior to 9/11.
This wouldn't be an issue for the average husband and father that performs simple household repairs or tinkers with things in his spare time.
I love him, but Jon just doesn't exert that type of effort. It took 5 months of sliding off the toilet bowl to realize pushing the pin back into place would fix it. He avoids showering because the plunger on the faucet sticks. I have to make the big effort to find a canister of Pam to fix that problem.
Yesterday there was the case of the missing lid to the gallon of milk. The poor man couldn't be bothered to bend over and look at the floor. Right there, in front of his toes. It sat, pink and plasticy. He just declared it missing and the milk was left open in the refrigerator.
Now we've discussed this multi tool issue for well over a week. By 'discussed' I mean debated. Loudly. Repeatedly. He got that gleam in his eye while browsing electronics in the local Target store. He found it, the perfect tool with interchangeable screw driver bits. It would secure his spot of manliness within the group of IT nerds at work. I'm guessing there's some equipment one upmanship that's related to issues of penis envy...but that's a psychological discussion for another day and time.
I saw that acceptable multi tools start at $75. A good one is double that. Not a small fortune in the grand scheme of things, but we've recently drained our savings on far too much convenience food and video games. There's also that issue of clothing and diapering 4 small children.
But now back to the multi tool. What is a man who can rarely manage to operate the lock on a door knob going to do with several sharp tools used for severing woodland animals and electrical wires? I cannot ask that question without hearing a lot of whining, defensive explanations, and ranting. But I assure you, no inferior $20 post-Christmas clearance tool is going to perform the burly tasks he has in mind. No no no, this tool must have 238 functions and accessories. Lots of accessories.
At some point I will cave in and get him the 'tool of his dreams'. I'm sure he'll make a fine effort for a day or 2 at justifying his need for the multipurpose purchase.
He may even make the effort to use the hunting blade to butter his own toast or shave some curls off a bar of chocolate. It certain won't be used for hunting since my sweetie is sort of allergic to the outdoors.

Laundry

I decided long ago that I was no longer going to do the laundry. I have arthritis. It's severe and I'm heavily medicated for it. I also try my best to keep up with 4 kids. Then there's also the irrational fear of our garage. Yes, those are my best excuses. Quit judging.
I bought Jon a new front loader with fancy buttons that makes all sorts of musical sounds and a neato glowing display. Two weeks later, the novelty wore off and some of the clothing items haven't moved from the garage floor in ohhh, a year now.
So now he's decided to go on laundry strike.
So we've fallen into a new era of laziness. At first, our 7 year old was enthused to help out. That didn't last long. I know that comes as a surprise. He's willing to do it, but why should I pressure a kid to make dirty drawers his chore.
Here we are. We've resorted to throwing it all into a bag or 2 each week and we're now paying some creepy woman to do our wash for us. Sure, now I'm itchy all the time, but the alternative would be no clean clothes. And so, a sarcastically half hearted "thanks honey" for giving up on most of the essential household tasks.